Predisone, Albuteral, and Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips

Generally, I consider myself a pretty smart guy.

Here is the deal. I happen to love vinegar and salt potato chips. I will eat them by the bag. I hadn't eaten any for a long time, so I picked up a bag at the grocery store. With much anticipation, I got the bag of chips and headed for the Blogs with them and a Pepsi. I am subjecting you to this meaningless drivel to point out a great injustice which has been thrust upon me. I started eating my chips and they were good! They invoked good memories, tasted good, and in general just perked me up.

About one half an hour later, the inside of my mouth was "on fire". This was serious. It hurt like hell. I was whining around the house rinsing my mouth out with different solutions and no relief. It was serious pain! My friend observed this behavior and suggested we go to the emergency room. Isn't this dumb? I told her that I appreciated the suggestion, but I'll be damned if I am going to the Emergency Room and report that I am suffering from Potato chip consumption! My God, some semblance of dignity must be preserved.

In the meantime the Southern California Santa Anna wind driven brush fires were still raging in my mouth. I was in tear inducing pain. This was looking "like the big one Elizabeth".

Finally, I remember that the Hospital had an Advice Nurse on duty around the clock. I decided that telephone ignominy was acceptable and called the number. I sheepishly explained my problem and she said "Oh, salt and vinegar chips", I replied, Yup. Then she asked if I was taking any medications. I rattled off the list and when I got to the Predisone and Albuteral, she said "there you go". I said, Huh? The Nurse said "I want you to lay the phone down and, if you have it, go mix one teaspoon of baking soda into a drinking glass of warm water, and then rinse your mouth out several times and then gargle softly. Don't swallow the solution." I went and gathered the materials and complied with those instructions.

I am here to tell you, the relief was just like the mythical drinking of Ambrosia. It was wonderful. I could feel the relief, it was a tangible force. I got back on the telephone, in an almost tearful state and reported my results to this angel of mercy. She explained that the Predisone has a sensitizing effect on the skin, and the Albuteral inhalations exaggerated the sensitivity further. Anyway, she said the tissue on the inside of our mouths is delicate in any circumstance, and then when I loaded it up with all that acid from the Vinegar, it was an invitation to hell revisited, Which I surely found. The rinsing with the baking soda was a simple remedy reestablishing a PH balance in my mouth.

By this time I was high on feeling good. I told her I would be her slave forever. She politely declined citing the fact that her Grandchildren would not approve. I replied, how about if I wash your car then. She again declined. I thanked her profusely and went about my business. She is gone, but not forgotten. My Doctor happens to be her Boss, so I will make sure that he is aware of the jewel that he has on his staff.

On a more serious note, I am reminded once again of the fundamental goodness of my fellow man, in this case, my fellow women. We are so blind-sided by the evil doers and the sensational that we don't often take adequate note of those, my advice nurse, for example, who make a quiet difference in our lives for just a few minutes in one day.